What Anxiety Feels Like
Anxiety is often regarded as a “negative emotion”. If you’ve dealt with an anxiety disorder like generalized anxiety, social anxiety, phobias, PTSD, panic attacks or OCD, you understand why it is regarded as such. I understand why, too. I don’t mean to minimize your experience, but I do want to give it some different perspective or context.
Anxiety takes up space and for some of us, takes over our thoughts, our emotions and even our bodies.
Anxiety- The Mind
Anxiety can overrun your mind and take over your thoughts to the extent you find yourself wishing for a lobotomy. You literally want to unzip your head, take your mind out and put it on the table.
“Just give me a break. PLEASE turn my thoughts off!”
Your anxious thoughts can churn and chug and you wonder if there is actually a motor of some sort that somehow was physically placed inside your skull. At the end of the day, you’re exhausted from all of this thinking- exhausted from the type of thinking over which you have had no control. This thinking happened to you. This thinking took your entire day. You realize you were rarely present for the moments of your day. You were preoccupied and distant.
Exhausted. So, at the end of the day, you settle into bed, place your head on the pillow and close your eyes. If you’ve been dealing with anxiety for a while now, it’s no surprise to you that it is at this very moment your mind takes flight, like a rocket ship off to space, soaring to the most obnoxious and redundant places you could ever imagine.
You’re worried. You’re thinking about every possible outcome for tomorrow. You’re going over every moment that happened today. You’re making checklists. You remember you have to buy Q-Tips. You relive that moment from 17 years ago where you accidentally spit when you said something and you’re pretty sure the person you were talking to noticed it.
Goodness. Can we revisit that lobotomy idea?
Anxiety- The Feeling
For some, anxiety is an undertow of dread. It’s persistent, consistent and pervasive but subtle enough you can get through the whole day without breaking down, crying, lashing out or hiding in the bathroom. Well, usually you can get through the day without doing those things. Sometimes it just isn’t possible to keep it all together.
If this is you, you might feel as though you’re always on “yellow alert”. A felt sense that you’re waiting for the other shoe to drop. You feel vulnerable and exposed. You’re distressed and apprehensive for what seems to be no good reason.
For others, the feeling of anxiety is crippling and crushing. It feels as though the walls are closing in and you desperately want to escape.
Danger. Impending disaster. Out of control.
Anxiety- The Body
Even people who don’t experience excessive anxiety are probably familiar with the physical effects of anxiety. Before speaking to a group of people, the heart rate picks up, the breathing rate increases and likely there is the fluttery feeling of butterflies in the stomach.
You might notice an upset stomach, dizziness, shortness of breath, sweating, trembling or hyperventilation. Full body fatigue, or full body restless agitation are common, as well. Headaches? Upset stomach? Muscle tension or twitches? Sure. Why not? Let’s not forget feeling tense and jumpy.
This is not in your mind. Anxiety can occupy every part of your body making it feel as though you are your anxiety. There’s a growing pool of research, too, to remind us that not only are these moments of anxiety devastating and painful, but they have a lasting impact on the physical health of our bodies.
The experience of ‘anxiety disorders’ are as unique as each of the people who have them, though, it’s clear there are some very common experiences. Thankfully, that means a lot of people in the world can relate to what you’re going through.
In my work, I have seen countless people recover from a variety of anxiety disorders. This doesn’t mean they don’t experience anxiousness from time to time. For those who do recover, it means that life is no longer characterized by the presence of anxiety in the mind, the body or the heart. It means that when anxiety shows up, it’s usually for a good reason and it’s easily managed.
Jessica Bennett, MA, LPC, CAADC is the Founder of Collaborative: Psychotherapy & Self-Discovery in Troy, Michigan. She is a Licensed Professional Counselor & Certified Advanced Alcohol and Drug Counselor who has completed Levels 1 & 2 IFS Training through the IFS Institute. Jessica specializes in treating young and aspiring professionals who wish to fully heal from trauma and anxiety.