The Job of Anxiety
Anxiety, believe it or not, is an important part of each of us. Like all of our feelings, thoughts and behaviors, anxiety serves a purpose. This isn’t a new concept. Several psychological theorists over the last 100 years have posited that the things we do in our lives, even those self-sabotaging and self-destructive actions that get in the way of our goals, at the core, are purposeful and are intended to create a desired consequence.
Depressive symptoms, angry outbursts, inability to commit, trouble keeping a steady job, drinking too much- you get the idea. Basically, all of the things a person does that they themselves cannot stand doing, are actually on a deeper level, intentional and being done for the overall good of the whole person.
Re-framing Anxiety
Think of your anxiety like an alarm system; a watchman always on the lookout for potential dangers. Your anxiety, in spite of it’s bothersome, or painful, or overwhelming tactics, really wants to help you.
I know, I know. This could be news to you. But, hear me out.
Take a moment to imagine that little ‘watchman’ somewhere within you. Maybe you need to close your eyes to do this, or maybe it’d be helpful to draw this image. It might be a good idea to recall where in your body you experience anxiety, as well. Really take a moment to focus in on this ‘part’ of you. Now, try to be open to getting to know this anxiety.
If you asked this anxiety what it’s job is, what might it say? What might this anxiety want to tell you about how it came to be? Is it proud of the many ways and situations it has helped you throughout your life?
Anxiety, The Protector
As you reflect on this anxiety part of you, remember a time anxiety really helped you. Perhaps it kept you from making a big mistake with your finances. Or maybe it showed up as you were contemplating taking a new risk which, ultimately proved to be not worth taking. Is it possible that this anxiety part of you that causes so much havoc and that you want nothing more than to just ‘make it go away’, is actually there to protect you?
See if you can feel even the littlest bit of appreciation or gratitude for some of the good it has done in your life.
Anxiety, Befriended
It’s easy to see how anxiety is getting in your way, causing you pain and creating rifts in your relationships. Now, you see, it’s possible to notice how anxiety is helping you.
Once we are able to see the intentions of our subconscious and conscious thoughts, overt and subtle feelings and our sometimes not-so-presentable behaviors, we are able to ease some of the internal resistance and tension we experience as a reaction to these otherwise unwanted ‘parts’ of ourselves.
There’s this saying I refer to often and it goes, “That which we resist, persists”. That is, the more we fight a part of ourselves, the harder it will fight back. For example, you have an anxiety that is convinced it has an extraordinarily important piece of information to give you, and if you don’t listen, terrible and awful things are going to happen. This anxiety runs thoughts through your mind all day. They’re loud thoughts and they’re moving fast, constantly distracting you from the things you’re trying to get done. You do everything you can to shoo it away, to block it, to distract yourself from it, and to soothe it.
The anxiety just gets louder. The anxiety gets bigger. The anxiety is suddenly all that you are and you are utterly overwhelmed.
I wonder what would happen if you did something different. I wonder how this anxiety would respond if you invited it to sit down for coffee and share with you what it’s concerns are. I wonder if this anxiety part of you would change if it felt that you could really hear it.
Interested in Understanding Your Anxiety?
If you connect with this way of thinking about what you’re thinking and feeling, you can learn more about IFS by clicking the link below. You can also schedule a phone consultation with me to ask any questions about what it means to be in IFS therapy, and how IFS therapy could help you heal from anxiety and past traumas.
Jessica Bennett, MA, LPC, CAADC is the Founder of Collaborative: Psychotherapy & Self-Discovery in Troy, Michigan. She is a Licensed Professional Counselor & Certified Advanced Alcohol and Drug Counselor who has completed Levels 1 & 2 IFS Training through the IFS Institute. Jessica specializes in treating young and aspiring professionals who wish to fully heal from trauma and anxiety.